"A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit." Proverbs 14:4
One of the most serious mistakes made in child rearing and the one with lifelong repercussions for your children is that of negative speech spoken aloud to your children, against other people in your life.
The Bible says that "a wholesome tongue is a tree of life:" It gives strength and vibrancy to a child's life. It is edifying and brings happiness, security and peace into the spirit of your child.
In contrast, the Bible also speaks about the damage "perverseness" in a tongue can do to a life. There is no harsher bondage to bring down on your child, teenager or young adult, than that of having to listen to a parent rant and vent out their poisonous opinions and critiquing of other people, in your home life. Parents, who create this kind of division in their children's minds, need to realize that they are doing the devil's work on their very own children! It becomes a mental and emotional prison for those children because they do not know what to believe or how to respond or react to the criticized one. If the person/persons you are criticizing are authorities in your child's life, you have completely trained them to disregard those authorities and to ignore the scriptural teaching about honoring those that have the rule over you or giving honor to whom honor is due.
The Bible says that this kind of "perverse" tongue causes "a breach in the spirit". The dictionary says that a "breach" is a break…or ruptures…a severance of friendly relations. Do you really want to do this to your child? What a horrible injustice it is against your child and their future relationships with God given authorities. There is only one remedy for this kind of poison given to a child! The parent must repent and openly confess this kind of behavior as sin! Or, the child has to renounce the parent's behavior as the sin it is…and separate themselves from hearing it. As your children grow older, they will put the pieces of life and relationships together and lose respect for the parent who never makes this problem right with God and people.
What irreparable bondage to bring down upon your child.
You are wrong to conjure up false or judgmental accusations against others.
The Bible says, "Do they not err that devise evil? But mercy and truth shall be to them that devise good." Proverbs 14:22 Can you not say kind, edifying things about others in your children's presence? Are your own opinions that important to you?
But you may say… "What I am saying about others is the truth! I'm not making it up." Dear friend, you are still in sin when you do this. The Bible says,
"He that despiseth his neighbor sinneth: but he that hath mercy on the poor, happy is he." Proverbs 14:21 "A wrathful man (woman) stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife." Proverbs 15:18
"Let all bitterness and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice." Ephesians 4:31
You are causing trouble and strife for your children and for yourself when you vent your bitterness for all of your family to hear. You are showing that you lack control over your own spirit and you reveal your total lack of the Holy Spirit of God in your life. The damage done to yourself and to the heart and mind of your child, is very serious! Your angry spirit and speech is being used to stir your family to strife and to turn them against healthy, spiritual relationships with others.
"The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good." Proverbs 15:3
Make no mistake…God hears it all! You will be brought into judgment for every idle word. The sad part….? It may be too late to salvage your children's hearts and minds. The damage that a perverse tongue can do can stunt your child from ever listening to God given authority in their life. It can keep a lost child eternally lost. It can neutralize a saved child in serving God.
This is a serious sin and one not to be taken lightly.
God help us to train our own tongues before we endeavor to train our children's!
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